I hear ya! I took an insta hiatus and it’s been great. I’m only there now occasionally to share links directed here 😄. Being on instagram is like drowning in the middle of the ocean surrounded by cruise ships with passengers who don’t care to see you flailing about.
Seconded!! The irony is it's built to make you pretend like you're performing gold medal standing synchronised swimming, when you're actually flailing!! The analogy keeps on giving.
Your likening it to the ocean scenario is almost word for word how I recently described living with grief after the sudden tragic loss of my mother two years ago. I'm all about my signs and serendipity and pointing them out. Can't wait to check out your Substack Ashley 💕💫
I did this right before I went cold turkey! it’s definitely the better option!! desktop viewing is so much better. easier to see and more regulating / better on your body. i’m sure that’s why it’s easier to create boundaries
I had to reinstall it on my phone a few days ago to make a change (some of what’s possible on mobile isn’t on desktop) and I have got to say - I need to banish it from my phone again. My usage has skyrocketed since putting it back on my mobile! 🫣😵💫
me, a teenager, surrounded by social media since the ripe old age of 10, deleted tiktok at age 11 and now, at the age of 17, was inspired by some random person on the internet to delete instagram, I hope you’re happy 😒. Jokes aside I never really use instagram anymore except to scroll, I used to have a load of online friends there, but as they got busy with life, we talked less and less until we never did, I think I scrolled as a morbid hope they’d randomly text me whilst I was scrolling… they haven’t, and it’s been a while, sooooo ya girl deleted it 😃✨
Edit: if anyone was curious to what happened afterwards I’m thinking of writing a personal essay about it and posting it in my publication “the frog princess”
I definitely think they can exist online, but only between the person they choose to show you and the person you choose to show them, I’m hoping my attention span will get better after deleting it, I still have YouTube but since they are longer videos it won’t be so bad for my attention span :)
My friends complain I’m a Luddite and look at me as if I’ve contracted some strange debilitating disease. I have not joined TikTok and never will. Under pressure I did create a Facebook page but I hate the UI with a bloody passion and never visit. I created an Instagram page and then deleted it. I created an X account for one day and then savagely deleted it as well.
And all this to support a music project. But you know what? I’ve decided that the road to visibility is strewn with the corpses of untold millions who’ve sacrificed their souls to the tech bros and I’ll have none of it. As you so brilliantly put it, privacy is a luxury worth protecting. Thanks for writing that piece.
To all your friends who call you a Luddite, I'd say that that is a badge of honor: the Luddites were a movement not against technology for technology’s sake, but against the ways that capitalism and the rich used technology to enrich themselves and impoverish and disenfranchise workers. No parallels at all to today - Long live Ned Ludd!
I completely agree with you. I left all social media except for Substack and some Telegram groups (but I reduced greatly their number in time). My concern though is that Substack is on the way to become a "traditional" social media too, but for now I'm enjoying the heartfelt and intelligent posts I find here, like yours.
thank you very much! I also have the same fears that substack is going in the wrong direction. notes is great but the short, scrolling format doesn't lend well to its future...
Yeah, we have to give credit to Substack for creating this space and notes but I think that a lot of its beauty comes from the type of people attracted to the idea of this platform.
Love this - and have been gradually scaling back myself. I realize the more time I spend on it, the more insular and angry I become. It's a poison that slowly kills us with each passing spoonful.
Maybe it's the algorithm (lol) but I am seeing more and more people jump ship and it's the best feeling. It's confirmation I made the right choice plus I'm excited for everyone to get their life back. My breaking point was on a camping trip with my best friend, at a time when I believed my business's life depended on Instagram and I had to post at a certain time every day to succeed. The post wouldn't post due to lack of service, because . . . camping. And while I ran around positively freaking out, climbing things trying to get a signal, my bestie drank wine and stoked the fire and shook his head. In the midst of that chaos, I was like WHOA.
I'm glad it happened. I needed a good slap in the face.
I just wrote a note about how I'm contemplating leaving IG in 2025 (while simultaneously feeling some fear around it) and then stumbled on your piece, which was so refreshing and inspiring to hear! In the little breaks I've taken away from the app, it's felt SO good. But being half-in / half-out is also taking too much mental energy and feels draining... I just get to decide (and I think I know the answer). Thank you for sharing your experience xx
Just read your comment and can't believe how it mirrors mine I just wrote! About the half in/half out feeling. I am so with you. I noticed fear coming up too around missing out and not connecting with "my people" here. Thank you for sharing. <3
Is there room for tech as a tool for a connection or will ads eventually take over? Better yet, would anyone be willing to pay a small fee for an app that actually increased connection without ads? We’ve become used to the “free” model- but when a product is free you are the product. Just curious!
I think that’s where Substack comes in. I was shown this post even though it was posted a wee while ago, so I am still getting pushed content (including vacation photos) similar to Instagram, yet the ads aren’t there there’s lovely writing with it and so far, no vitriol has come across my feed! 😊 I’d be happy to pay a small fee to keep it this way.
Yes to this. I left last week for a month and I am not missing it in the slightest which is so interesting. I really thought I would. I have checked in on messages once. I guess as a business owner I feel worried about leaving completely but I am willing to experiment and see what happens. My biggest concern is not being engaged with Palestine and other forms of activism. I have realised how much of an important place it is for those voices who are marginalised or being actively harmed, I don’t want to turn away from that.
Honest and shockingly true! I've gotten off social media about 3 years now and have felt the better and the wiser for it...it was such a manipulation and I felt a slave to it all. My intention was to be inspired and inspiring, but somehow that doesn't truly happen. It's all superficial and sickened me to my stomach.
I deactivated my Instagram 2,5 years ago and I haven’t regretted it once! Only negative aspect is I lost touch with a lot of people. But I feel more stable and present in general.
I genuinely enjoyed reading this and its realness💜. Totally relatable about the social media community becoming more daunting to curate and exist in. I simply create a balance between the two whilst prioritizing my present reality by spending more time in nature, simply observing. Simply Being🌸
I am in a toxic, back-n-forth relationship with social media, particularly IG and TikTok. But to your point, when you’re IN IT, you defend it. You make any excuse to stay close to it. I admire the fact that you cut it out cold turkey. I may need to just pick and choose days I allow myself to use it. Great piece ❤️
Yes to all of this! 👏🏻 I am 6 months off IG and reading post like yours reassure me that we are onto something. I love when you say we’ve travelled back in time to a simpler time we thought lost 🧡
I hear ya! I took an insta hiatus and it’s been great. I’m only there now occasionally to share links directed here 😄. Being on instagram is like drowning in the middle of the ocean surrounded by cruise ships with passengers who don’t care to see you flailing about.
100% I love that analogy!!! Xox
Seconded!! The irony is it's built to make you pretend like you're performing gold medal standing synchronised swimming, when you're actually flailing!! The analogy keeps on giving.
Your likening it to the ocean scenario is almost word for word how I recently described living with grief after the sudden tragic loss of my mother two years ago. I'm all about my signs and serendipity and pointing them out. Can't wait to check out your Substack Ashley 💕💫
Same boat, I love it so much and don’t regret it at all. :o)
I have relegated insta to desktop only and this in itself has been transformational. 🦋🪷
Good for you! That would make a big difference
Somehow it’s boring on the big screen! Right?
I did this right before I went cold turkey! it’s definitely the better option!! desktop viewing is so much better. easier to see and more regulating / better on your body. i’m sure that’s why it’s easier to create boundaries
That’s a really good idea.
I had to reinstall it on my phone a few days ago to make a change (some of what’s possible on mobile isn’t on desktop) and I have got to say - I need to banish it from my phone again. My usage has skyrocketed since putting it back on my mobile! 🫣😵💫
Me too! It’s been peaceful.
me, a teenager, surrounded by social media since the ripe old age of 10, deleted tiktok at age 11 and now, at the age of 17, was inspired by some random person on the internet to delete instagram, I hope you’re happy 😒. Jokes aside I never really use instagram anymore except to scroll, I used to have a load of online friends there, but as they got busy with life, we talked less and less until we never did, I think I scrolled as a morbid hope they’d randomly text me whilst I was scrolling… they haven’t, and it’s been a while, sooooo ya girl deleted it 😃✨
Edit: if anyone was curious to what happened afterwards I’m thinking of writing a personal essay about it and posting it in my publication “the frog princess”
Good for you. I don’t think real friendships exist online to be honest. But good for you getting out so young that’s cool and brave x
I definitely think they can exist online, but only between the person they choose to show you and the person you choose to show them, I’m hoping my attention span will get better after deleting it, I still have YouTube but since they are longer videos it won’t be so bad for my attention span :)
yeah it does, and at some point u just think “fuck this”
My friends complain I’m a Luddite and look at me as if I’ve contracted some strange debilitating disease. I have not joined TikTok and never will. Under pressure I did create a Facebook page but I hate the UI with a bloody passion and never visit. I created an Instagram page and then deleted it. I created an X account for one day and then savagely deleted it as well.
And all this to support a music project. But you know what? I’ve decided that the road to visibility is strewn with the corpses of untold millions who’ve sacrificed their souls to the tech bros and I’ll have none of it. As you so brilliantly put it, privacy is a luxury worth protecting. Thanks for writing that piece.
To all your friends who call you a Luddite, I'd say that that is a badge of honor: the Luddites were a movement not against technology for technology’s sake, but against the ways that capitalism and the rich used technology to enrich themselves and impoverish and disenfranchise workers. No parallels at all to today - Long live Ned Ludd!
Thank you, Lander❤️
Good for you Beth
Thank you, Hannah!
Thanks, and you too!
I completely agree with you. I left all social media except for Substack and some Telegram groups (but I reduced greatly their number in time). My concern though is that Substack is on the way to become a "traditional" social media too, but for now I'm enjoying the heartfelt and intelligent posts I find here, like yours.
thank you very much! I also have the same fears that substack is going in the wrong direction. notes is great but the short, scrolling format doesn't lend well to its future...
Yeah, we have to give credit to Substack for creating this space and notes but I think that a lot of its beauty comes from the type of people attracted to the idea of this platform.
Yes! I see it happening with Substack and it’s so demoralizing to see.
Social Media - the void where we get lost in what everyone else is doing that we end up just losing ourselves 🫥
So true!!!
This!
Love this - and have been gradually scaling back myself. I realize the more time I spend on it, the more insular and angry I become. It's a poison that slowly kills us with each passing spoonful.
100%%%%
I saw that in myself. Reading the comments would enrage me.
Maybe it's the algorithm (lol) but I am seeing more and more people jump ship and it's the best feeling. It's confirmation I made the right choice plus I'm excited for everyone to get their life back. My breaking point was on a camping trip with my best friend, at a time when I believed my business's life depended on Instagram and I had to post at a certain time every day to succeed. The post wouldn't post due to lack of service, because . . . camping. And while I ran around positively freaking out, climbing things trying to get a signal, my bestie drank wine and stoked the fire and shook his head. In the midst of that chaos, I was like WHOA.
I'm glad it happened. I needed a good slap in the face.
Hahaha Jennie this is the best story I love it! Thank you for sharing it! X
I just wrote a note about how I'm contemplating leaving IG in 2025 (while simultaneously feeling some fear around it) and then stumbled on your piece, which was so refreshing and inspiring to hear! In the little breaks I've taken away from the app, it's felt SO good. But being half-in / half-out is also taking too much mental energy and feels draining... I just get to decide (and I think I know the answer). Thank you for sharing your experience xx
Thanks for reading Aaliyah! I’m glad it helped! 🤍
Just read your comment and can't believe how it mirrors mine I just wrote! About the half in/half out feeling. I am so with you. I noticed fear coming up too around missing out and not connecting with "my people" here. Thank you for sharing. <3
Is there room for tech as a tool for a connection or will ads eventually take over? Better yet, would anyone be willing to pay a small fee for an app that actually increased connection without ads? We’ve become used to the “free” model- but when a product is free you are the product. Just curious!
I think that’s where Substack comes in. I was shown this post even though it was posted a wee while ago, so I am still getting pushed content (including vacation photos) similar to Instagram, yet the ads aren’t there there’s lovely writing with it and so far, no vitriol has come across my feed! 😊 I’d be happy to pay a small fee to keep it this way.
Yes to this. I left last week for a month and I am not missing it in the slightest which is so interesting. I really thought I would. I have checked in on messages once. I guess as a business owner I feel worried about leaving completely but I am willing to experiment and see what happens. My biggest concern is not being engaged with Palestine and other forms of activism. I have realised how much of an important place it is for those voices who are marginalised or being actively harmed, I don’t want to turn away from that.
Good for you Ami
You summarized my feelings so well - both for business and engagement with Palestine and other forms of activism.
Honest and shockingly true! I've gotten off social media about 3 years now and have felt the better and the wiser for it...it was such a manipulation and I felt a slave to it all. My intention was to be inspired and inspiring, but somehow that doesn't truly happen. It's all superficial and sickened me to my stomach.
I agree wholeheartedly margarita! X
I deactivated my Instagram 2,5 years ago and I haven’t regretted it once! Only negative aspect is I lost touch with a lot of people. But I feel more stable and present in general.
100%!!
I genuinely enjoyed reading this and its realness💜. Totally relatable about the social media community becoming more daunting to curate and exist in. I simply create a balance between the two whilst prioritizing my present reality by spending more time in nature, simply observing. Simply Being🌸
Lovely piece✨
This is beautiful Eunie thank you for sharing and for your support x
I am in a toxic, back-n-forth relationship with social media, particularly IG and TikTok. But to your point, when you’re IN IT, you defend it. You make any excuse to stay close to it. I admire the fact that you cut it out cold turkey. I may need to just pick and choose days I allow myself to use it. Great piece ❤️
Thank you Nikki. Good luck with it all
Yes to all of this! 👏🏻 I am 6 months off IG and reading post like yours reassure me that we are onto something. I love when you say we’ve travelled back in time to a simpler time we thought lost 🧡
Thank you Cynthia - I loved that too!